


Mandy Milkovich, Professional Life Ruiner

by joidianne4eva



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 01:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2489579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joidianne4eva/pseuds/joidianne4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pausing Mandy frowned down at him. “Seriously? It’s been four days, I know you’re whipped but you could at least try to act like you aren’t addicted to Ian’s dick.”</p><p>Mickey just flipped her off and pulled his blanket over his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mandy Milkovich, Professional Life Ruiner

**Author's Note:**

> There are things I regret in life, this is not one of them.
> 
> Now beta'd by the awesome Idealuk.

Mandy loved Mickey and Ian as a couple. She really did. The fact that she had to love Mickey, because he was her brother, and Ian was just irresistible as their own living Clifford puppy dog didn’t _really_ matter because, while those _were_ parts of why she loved them, they weren’t all of her reasons.

She mostly loved them because they were idiots who provided her with limitless entertainment.

“Mickey, where’s my phone?,”.

Both Mandy’s, and Mickey’s, head snapped up when Ian bellowed from wherever he was and Mandy could see the exact moment that Mickey realized that he’d fucked up.

Slowly, she put down the game controller, and turned because she needed to see this shit go down without interruptions.

Mickey’s face twisted into something that he probably thought was innocence, but Mandy was calling bullshit on that, because Mickey had never been innocent a day in his life.

“Why the fuck are you askin’ me? It’s your phone!,” Mickey yelled back, his eyes returning to the frozen TV screen when Ian appeared in the doorway.

Mandy widened her eyes when Ian’s gaze paused on her because, for once, she could truly say that she had nothing to do with this.

“Mickey, you were the last person who had it, remember? I told you to put it on charge after you were done”.

Mickey slinked lower in the sofa, and he muttered something that Ian didn’t seem to catch, but Mandy did. She caught it loud and fucking clear.

“You’re so dead,” she taunted, shuffling further down the sofa when Mickey glared at her.

Ian glanced between the two of them as he rounded the sofa, arms crossed, and thoroughly done, “Mickey, where’s my phone?”

Mickey pursed his lips and slumped even further in his seat and spat, “It fucking broke, okay?”

Ian reached out both hands like he wanted to wrap them around Mickey’s neck, fingers clenching in the air, and Mandy pressed herself against the cushions, because Ian was batshit crazy when he wanted to be, and she wasn’t about to get caught up in whatever the fuck was going to go down.

“You broke my phone and didn’t tell me?,” Ian whispered, and Mickey shrugged like he couldn’t feel the danger he was in. Mandy mentally started writing his eulogy when Ian took a step closer.

“Didn’t think it mattered. You can get a new one,” Mickey muttered, and Ian made a sound that had both him, and Mandy, flinching.

“Fuck, all my numbers were on that phone, Mickey!,” he snapped, reaching up to tug at his hair before he took a calming breath, “... Okay, it’s cool, just pass it over, and I can get it looked at”.

Mickey grimaced at that. “Tossed it.”

“You fucking …,” Ian started, his eyes narrowing, “This was about the numbers, wasn’t it?”

“What numbers?,” Mandy piped up because shit starting was a hobby, alright?

“You didn’t need to still have them!” Mickey snarled and Ian snorted.

“So, you wrecked my phone, because I had some friends’ numbers in it.”

“Friends, who used to pay your ass to get naked,” Mickey added sotto voce, but his voice wasn’t quiet enough, because Ian snarled at him.

“You know what, fuck you, Mickey!”

“You already do that shit,” Mickey quipped, looking really pleased with himself.

“Not anymore,” Ian shot back, and Mickey froze.

“What?”

“No sex until I get a new phone,” Ian replied, a cruel grin curling his lips that was followed by Mickey glowering at him.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” Mickey growled, but Ian just smirked, and leaned closer until they were almost touching.

“Try me,” he whispered, looking Mickey up and down before straightening and marching from the room.

“He wouldn’t dare,” Mickey repeated, and Mandy just grinned.

“Day One: Denial,” she intoned, smirking when Mickey flipped her off because this shit was comedy gold.

*O*

Mandy had been pretty certain that dick withdrawal wasn’t an actual thing until she went to visit Mickey and found him huddled on the sofa.

There were dark circles around his eyes and he was scruffy as hell.

“And hello to you, too, brother of mine,” she greeted, but Mickey didn’t respond. Pausing, Mandy frowned down at him, “Seriously? It’s been four days. I know you’re whipped, but you could at least try to act like you weren’t addicted to Ian’s dick.”

Mickey just flipped her off and pulled his blanket over his head.

Mandy sighed and straightened as Ian walked into the room. “Have a heart, Ian, look at him.”

Ian smirked as he breezed past her, only stopping long enough to brush a kiss across her cheek and ruffle Mickey’s hair, his grin widening when Mickey tried to slap his hand away. “No phone, no nookie, Mickey knows the rules.”

It wasn’t until Mandy had managed to weasel under Mickey’s blanket that she realized Mickey was actually shivering.

“You sure he hasn’t been lacing his dick with coke?,” she half-teased, and, even in the darkness, she could feel Mickey’s glare.

“I haven’t been sleeping right, so fuck off,” he responded, and Mandy sniffed, “Day Four: Desperation,” she whispered, and she got shoved off the sofa for that one, but it was totally worth it.

*O*

By Day Seven, Mandy was pretty sure that Mickey was actually losing his damn mind, which was the only reason why she was here (here being trying to negotiate with Ian). Mandy never thought she’d see the day that she begged someone to fuck her brother, but, seriously, this shit was getting old, and fast.

“You’ve got to be pent up. I meandon’t you want to get some ass, spank the bank, release the Kraken?”

Ian eyed her, “Stop talking about my dick like that, it’s bad enough that you copped a feel.”

Mandy smirked, because that was one of her better moments, “I could have copped a feel from Mars! You’re not exactly small--”

“’The fuck you talking about dicks for?,” Mandy cocked a brow at Mickey’s voice, glancing to the bundle of sheets and pillows on the sofa.

“It speaks,” she commented lightly, and Ian chuckled.

“Don’t act like you don’t want to hear about my cock, Mickey,” and their only response was a middle finger.

“Day Seven …,” she paused as she considered things, “Have you cycled back to denial, dickhead?,” she called at Mickey.

She didn’t actually expect a response, but the remote that almost brained her said enough.

*O*

Day Nine … Mandy didn’t talk about Day Nine, because there was shit she never wanted to see, and her brother bent over a sofa, taking dick from her best friend like a pro, was one of them.

*O*

Mandy gave them twenty-four hours before she attempted to re-establish contact. She wasn’t going to mention Mickey’s limp … She really wasn’t …

“You’re a brave man, Mickey Milkovich,” she commented lightly, and, when Mickey frowned in confusion at her, she grinned. “Not many people have looked the Kraken in the eye and lived to tell the tale.”

Mickey’s frown just deepened until Ian sauntered by, messing with his new phone, “She’s talking about my dick,” he yelled back in explanation, and Mandy screamed, scrambling off the sofa, as Mickey lunged at her while Ian laughed in the background.

Mandy really loved the two idiots, although, she wasn’t about to admit that shit any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Come prompt me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/i-was-put-together-wrong)


End file.
